Holidays Lost

It may not be Milton, but I am channeling Voltaire these days. "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."

In my case, it is more a matter of "I don't subscribe to the beliefs you celebrate, but I will defend to the death my right to get paid days off on those holidays."

Okay, so maybe it doesn't have quite the same ring to it.

Still, coming up on the holiday season, when it was decided that yes, the call center will be open regular hours on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's Day, I couldn't help feeling a little weird about it. I've never actually worked on Thanksgiving or Christmas, which have always been family days. But based on the fact that I've not worked any of the other holidays so far this year, and that I don't have children, it is probably only fair that I work at least two of the days.

Curse this Puritanical work ethic of ours. We work much too hard as a nation. Now we even have to work on the big holidays.

But let's be fair. Is there an inherent reason why I should not work these days? Maybe I'm being a hypocrite. Let's consider my relationship to each of these days:

Thanksgiving: a celebration of Puritans surviving a cold winter. They then set forth to wipe out an entire native culture. Also they wore stupid hats. I'm not a huge fan. Turkey is good, but I can eat turkey any day.

Christmas: for one thing, historical evidence and biblical study has established that Jesus was probably born in March. Also, I don't believe the Bible is an unblemished depiction of a loving, forgiving religion (too much alteration by a paternalistic system bent on perpetuating itself). Also, I don't believe in the religion in the first place. And as far as the original pagan winter festival that Christmas supplanted, well, I'm kind of too boring to be a good pagan.

New Year's Day: let's face it. This is a rather arbitrary milestone that we created to mark one year as opposed to the next. It isn't even subsequent to an equinox. About the most it has going for it is college football and a hangover from the night before. I do like college football, but that's what DVR is for, right? (I'm kidding, Marina. Unless you are okay with it, in which case I'm not kidding.) As for hangovers, well, they invented coffee for a reason.

So I guess I don't REALLY have a good reason for being weirded out at having to work these holidays. But, I mean, if even Voltaire is on my side, that should count for something right?

By the way, if I come off sounding like a tactless jerk, ungrateful for actually having a job to want a paid holiday from in the first place, or if you feel like I kicked your sacred cow in the ribs, just tell yourself that I was only kidding all along. Thank you.