iPhoning It In: Reasons To Buy An iPhone
Now that I've been co-opted by the iPhone Army, I've decided to post a list of reasons why this decision was the best decision I've ever made.*
1) I now know what a receiving blanket is.
We were in Babies "R" Us--utilizing a gift registry, not creating one--and we wondered, "What the hell is a receiving blanket and why do you need it?"
The thought I spoke aloud was, "Maybe it's a ceremonial blanket for wrapping around your baby when people come to visit." By people, I was envisioning the Queen of England.
The thought I didn't speak aloud was: "Maybe it's what the doctor uses to catch the baby. But then why would you need a three-pack?" The triplet-scenario didn't occur to me at the time, although now I picture a doctor catching one baby after another and beginning a juggling act.
It turns out, neither was true, and thanks to my new iPhone, that turning out happened very quickly. Instant gratification!
2) The mystery of Noboru Watanabe was solved.
Reading a story in a collection of Haruki Murakami short stories, I had an eerie feeling that I had heard the name Noboru Watanabe before, possibly even in the same book.
I could have leafed back through the earlier stories to confirm, but that would be so much work. All I had to do was Google the name. "Ah ha! That was the name of the cat in the first story."
The world is a much better place for the speed with which this puzzle was solved.
3) Convenience allows self-reference, on the go!
One could compose a blog about buying an iPhone, on the iPhone, while riding the bus--AND post it, all at the same time. That would also add a dash of spicy adventure to one's life, defying all the would-be pickpockets.
I did not, of course. I might be high-tech, but I'm not reckless.
4) Technology is taking over the language anyway.
Look at pronouns. Most are now subservient to technology: iPhone, the Wii (and the Mii avatars), YouTube. Do you really think you are too good for the company of pronouns?
*in terms of decisions affecting the usefulness of my cell phone
1) I now know what a receiving blanket is.
We were in Babies "R" Us--utilizing a gift registry, not creating one--and we wondered, "What the hell is a receiving blanket and why do you need it?"
The thought I spoke aloud was, "Maybe it's a ceremonial blanket for wrapping around your baby when people come to visit." By people, I was envisioning the Queen of England.
The thought I didn't speak aloud was: "Maybe it's what the doctor uses to catch the baby. But then why would you need a three-pack?" The triplet-scenario didn't occur to me at the time, although now I picture a doctor catching one baby after another and beginning a juggling act.
It turns out, neither was true, and thanks to my new iPhone, that turning out happened very quickly. Instant gratification!
2) The mystery of Noboru Watanabe was solved.
Reading a story in a collection of Haruki Murakami short stories, I had an eerie feeling that I had heard the name Noboru Watanabe before, possibly even in the same book.
I could have leafed back through the earlier stories to confirm, but that would be so much work. All I had to do was Google the name. "Ah ha! That was the name of the cat in the first story."
The world is a much better place for the speed with which this puzzle was solved.
3) Convenience allows self-reference, on the go!
One could compose a blog about buying an iPhone, on the iPhone, while riding the bus--AND post it, all at the same time. That would also add a dash of spicy adventure to one's life, defying all the would-be pickpockets.
I did not, of course. I might be high-tech, but I'm not reckless.
4) Technology is taking over the language anyway.
Look at pronouns. Most are now subservient to technology: iPhone, the Wii (and the Mii avatars), YouTube. Do you really think you are too good for the company of pronouns?
*in terms of decisions affecting the usefulness of my cell phone
posted by Devin at 6:49 PM
2 Comments:
Definitely a laugh-out-louder, and probably a cure for Dad's weltschmerz, too!
"Some people pin several rolled blankets together as arms and legs to make a baby shape." Is this deeply creepy only to me?
Post a Comment
<< Home