Jumping Through Generations
It wasn't the strands of bright silver hair that did the trick, startling as they were to see in the mirror the other morning. No, what did the trick was a three year old boy with a handful of pebbles.
I've known for a while that I'm technically a grown-up. I'm 31, living in a different time zone from my parents, and engaged. I work full time and pay taxes. Now in Santa Cruz, I even pay for garbage and water, and if that isn't a hallmark of being grown up, I don't know what is. But I know all this and still feel like a kid most of the time. I don't feel that much different than I remember feeling at 10 or 20; I just drink a little more.
Tonight I walked to Dig Nursery after work for a pop-up supper club dinner with Marina and her sister, mom, and nephews. After we got wine, Marina, Valerie, Boden and I stepped outside into the courtyard. After a few moments, I found myself apart from Marina and her sister, standing next to Boden as he scuffled in the stones. As I watched him pick up handfuls of pebbles, only to let them waterfall back to the ground--except for the random stones that vanished down his sleeves, much to his consternation--I thought to myself, "How do I herd him back to his mother?" But then I thought, "No, let her have a conversation with Marina. You can watch the kid for a bit."
The significance of this didn't hit me until my third glass of wine, while I was sitting at the long makeshift banquet table. In reflecting on that moment, I suddenly reframed my universe and saw myself as my uncle must have seen himself when tending to me when I was young. All of a sudden, I was in a different generation, my parents' generation, watching over a nephew, and the silver hair on my head took on a subtly different significance. Not a bad significance, or even necessarily a disturbing one, but definitely one of those snapshot moments that you would see in an art-house movie about growing older.
All of a sudden, there is someone younger than me. I no longer can see myself as the young kid; I'm in the generation that can be an uncle. It's an interesting shift in perspective.
I've known for a while that I'm technically a grown-up. I'm 31, living in a different time zone from my parents, and engaged. I work full time and pay taxes. Now in Santa Cruz, I even pay for garbage and water, and if that isn't a hallmark of being grown up, I don't know what is. But I know all this and still feel like a kid most of the time. I don't feel that much different than I remember feeling at 10 or 20; I just drink a little more.
Tonight I walked to Dig Nursery after work for a pop-up supper club dinner with Marina and her sister, mom, and nephews. After we got wine, Marina, Valerie, Boden and I stepped outside into the courtyard. After a few moments, I found myself apart from Marina and her sister, standing next to Boden as he scuffled in the stones. As I watched him pick up handfuls of pebbles, only to let them waterfall back to the ground--except for the random stones that vanished down his sleeves, much to his consternation--I thought to myself, "How do I herd him back to his mother?" But then I thought, "No, let her have a conversation with Marina. You can watch the kid for a bit."
The significance of this didn't hit me until my third glass of wine, while I was sitting at the long makeshift banquet table. In reflecting on that moment, I suddenly reframed my universe and saw myself as my uncle must have seen himself when tending to me when I was young. All of a sudden, I was in a different generation, my parents' generation, watching over a nephew, and the silver hair on my head took on a subtly different significance. Not a bad significance, or even necessarily a disturbing one, but definitely one of those snapshot moments that you would see in an art-house movie about growing older.
All of a sudden, there is someone younger than me. I no longer can see myself as the young kid; I'm in the generation that can be an uncle. It's an interesting shift in perspective.
posted by Devin at 10:31 PM
2 Comments:
I just love you lots!
What is a pop-up supper club dinner?
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