Sunday, April 30, 2006

Random Thoughts, News Inspired: Volume II

1. I came upon this exciting news item at yahoo.com today:

"Women break bra world record
Sun Apr 30, 9:47 AM ET
PAPHOS, Cyprus (Reuters) - Women on the Mediterranean island of Cyprus created the world's longest chain of bras of Sunday, linking together nearly 115,000 of the garments covering 111 km (70 miles), organisers said."

My initial reaction was "Was this a spontaneous record-breaking? If so, why wasn't I informed in advance?"

Then I read further and found that it had been planned for a year, which probably means that all the participants came prepared, and so I promptly lost interest in the story.

2. I was browsing the BBC's website when I was horror-struck by this headline: "Scientists make water run uphill."

Is there no end to Science's Frankensteinian madness? Water is a tricky enough enemy when we fling ourselves into it, as in kayaking, or with the occasional disaster such as Katrina, but if science has helped water learn to purposefully come after us anytime it wants, what chance do we have?

Our socks may never be dry again.


3. Still on the BBC website (an unending source of material), I read this:

(start quote) The science of happiness
By Mike Rudin
Series producer, The Happiness Formula


We all want to be happy but the problem has always been that you can't measure happiness.

Happiness has always been seen as too vague a concept, as Lord Layard, Professor of Economics at the LSE and author of "Happiness - lessons from a new science" points out.

"There is a problem with the word happiness.

"When you use the word happy, it often has the sort of context of balloons floating up into the sky or something frivolous."

Now scientists say they can actually measure happiness.

Neuroscientists are measuring pleasure. They suggest that happiness is more than a vague concept or mood; it is real.

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Oh, good; now we can measure our happy quotient and see if we're happier than the people we know: "Damn, I'm only at 76%, and that bastard Fred is at 79%. Now I'm depressed."


4. Watching the NFL Draft, I realized that sports reporters and analysts are vultures. Here is my translation of one of the questions posed by the saccarine-sweet, bubbly blond reporter to a prospective pro who was watching the draft from home surrounded by family and friends: "So, LenDale, not a single team thought you were good enough to draft in the first round. And lots of people are calling you fat and lazy. How does that make you feel?"

And later, they broadcast an interview with Marcus Vick, the much-troubled younger brother of Michael Vick, Atlanta's star quarterback. Vaughn and I thought that Marcus said all the right things and that he remained humble and contrite. He said he wasn't going to make excuses for what he had done, that he couldn't compare to any of the top three QBs drafted, and that he understood how teams could be hesitant to take a chance on him in the draft.

The studio analysts, mostly older players, excoriated him for one statement, in which he said that he couldn't believe everything that had happened, that it was if he had broken too many mirrors as a kid. The vultures said, "He's just trying to make excuses for himself, he is selfish, etc., there's no place in the NFL for a guy like him." Basically they gave pre-packaged responses that were completely inappropriate to what Vick actually said. This is not to excuse what Vick did, but, really, these analysts were jerks.

Football--and all of professional sports, really--is kind of a conservative counterpart to the "liberal" Hollywood that we all hear so much about.