Returning From the Wilderness, Creature In Tow
How many times have I said my life is going to change? Well, this time I really, really, super mean it. We're having a daughter, set to premiere on July 11th.
You would think I would have been writing about this all along, but preparing to have a baby is surprisingly hard work! How's that for profundity? Somehow, I never seemed to have the energy/motivation to write a blog; it felt like an exercise in futility, dropping words into a bottomless well--assuming that wells could be filled with words, which is an abstraction I decline to tackle at the moment.
And I know I haven't seen anything yet, just wait until I'm sleepless and changing a diaper at 3:07 a.m., blah blah blah, don't bother writing if you can't make money off it, etc. Those are the thoughts stampeding about my brain lately.
But then again, if I'm not writing, I'm not really me. Well, I'm still me, I'm just not the me I would prefer. If I were a country club membership, I would be pool membership only--although to be clear, my country club wouldn't even HAVE a golf course, because, you know, I care about the environment.
As you can see, I'm feeling in need of some random cyber-venting/creating. I'm totally able to do that, as long as no one minds free form writing. For example, hashtag facepalm LOL.
There. I've purged the random Internet nonsense. I've been surfing the web a lot as a distraction instead of writing. Too much sports, really.
So as you can tell, I'm probably not ready to be a dad. In fact, I'm a zillion miles away from being the sort of man I always pictured myself being by the time I became a dad.
But that's okay. I'm going to be a good dad. I have a good example, and I care about being a good dad, so that part's okay. There's a lot to do, but we're getting it done. I've actually done some manual labor successfully, such as assembling a crib, fixing a curtain rod, and assembling a set of drawers--the latter took me only six hours, although I was a bit deflated when I found that my in-laws built their same dresser in only one hour.
So with that being cleared up, I guess it's okay for me to write again. I recently witnessed a friend make a revolutionary decision to change his life in the direction he wants it to go, at the expense of stepping in to the unknown. If he can do that, I can certainly keep writing while figuring out how to be a good dad/husband.
How weird is it to call myself a dad and husband? Still pretty weird. But a good weird.
You would think I would have been writing about this all along, but preparing to have a baby is surprisingly hard work! How's that for profundity? Somehow, I never seemed to have the energy/motivation to write a blog; it felt like an exercise in futility, dropping words into a bottomless well--assuming that wells could be filled with words, which is an abstraction I decline to tackle at the moment.
And I know I haven't seen anything yet, just wait until I'm sleepless and changing a diaper at 3:07 a.m., blah blah blah, don't bother writing if you can't make money off it, etc. Those are the thoughts stampeding about my brain lately.
But then again, if I'm not writing, I'm not really me. Well, I'm still me, I'm just not the me I would prefer. If I were a country club membership, I would be pool membership only--although to be clear, my country club wouldn't even HAVE a golf course, because, you know, I care about the environment.
As you can see, I'm feeling in need of some random cyber-venting/creating. I'm totally able to do that, as long as no one minds free form writing. For example, hashtag facepalm LOL.
There. I've purged the random Internet nonsense. I've been surfing the web a lot as a distraction instead of writing. Too much sports, really.
So as you can tell, I'm probably not ready to be a dad. In fact, I'm a zillion miles away from being the sort of man I always pictured myself being by the time I became a dad.
But that's okay. I'm going to be a good dad. I have a good example, and I care about being a good dad, so that part's okay. There's a lot to do, but we're getting it done. I've actually done some manual labor successfully, such as assembling a crib, fixing a curtain rod, and assembling a set of drawers--the latter took me only six hours, although I was a bit deflated when I found that my in-laws built their same dresser in only one hour.
So with that being cleared up, I guess it's okay for me to write again. I recently witnessed a friend make a revolutionary decision to change his life in the direction he wants it to go, at the expense of stepping in to the unknown. If he can do that, I can certainly keep writing while figuring out how to be a good dad/husband.
How weird is it to call myself a dad and husband? Still pretty weird. But a good weird.
posted by Devin at 3:11 PM
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