Lessons I've Learned From Baby, Volume Whatever

1) Doctors are rock stars.  Nurses are too.  Doctors, especially those who deliver babies, have swagger, and they earn it. 

2) Burps and hiccups are actually adorable, not annoying.

3) If babies don't want to wear mittens, by god, they will shake those mittens off no matter what you do. 

4)  Sleep is really nice. I mean really, really nice.  I mean better-than-sex nice. 

5)  After your baby finally goes to sleep after the first night at home and thirteen straight hours of screaming, feeding, changing, and panic--and that just on the part of the dad--then the first beer you've had in a couple of weeks tastes better than any beer in the history of beer.

6) When you don't want baby to sleep, i.e., when you want to feed her, she is totally zonked out.  When you do want her to sleep, i.e., when you would like to sleep yourself, she is on high alert: we're talking red alert, all hands on deck, check the diaper every few minutes, try to burp her, etc. 

7)  In the hospital, when you have her with you, you just want her to be taken to the nursery for a check up or something for a few hours.  When she goes to the nursery, you just want her to come back immediately. 

8) Sports really doesn't matter after all, even when the Giants lose.  

I still don't want the Dodgers to make the playoffs, though.